“Oh, fantastic! I was just wondering when the latest Yellow Pages book would get here!” said no one in the last decade.
But, every year, without fail, those Yellow Pages books show up at the front doors of our homes and businesses anyway. If you’re like us, those antiquated advertising attempts go straight into the trashcan or recycling bin, and millions of advertising and marketing dollars are, quite literally, thrown away.
But hey, we aren’t just another pretty face in the online marketing industry. No, we’re a digital marketing agency that is committed to helping you solve pesky, everyday dilemmas, like how to responsibly ditch your Yellow Pages book. You know, since we’re sure that 99% of you turn to the Internet when you need the phone number for a plumber in your hometown or pizza delivery in a vacation spot.
If you’re not going to look up phone numbers or peruse those expensive advertisements, take a look at how this marketing dinosaur can still serve a purpose. Most of our suggestions are tongue-in-cheek, but, hey, if you actually tried a few of these, we wouldn’t call you crazy.
For the Crafter/DIY-er
Short on “art” in your new place? Pick out a few ads that “speak to you.” We bet the dog bite attorney’s face would look really great framed and hanging in your living room. Or, who needs an alarm system when you can just hide all of your valuables inside your phone book. Really, this is quite genius: to make a DIY safe, just cut out a deep square inside of the book and store your keys, wallet and jewelry. Lastly, you can use the pages for all sorts of paper crafts, like wrapping paper, bows, flowers, and even origami.
For the Busy Parent
You aren’t just running a business, but you’re packing lunches, checking homework, cooking dinner and bandaging boo-boos. That can wear on you. So, don’t feel bad about using that phone book to make your life a little easier. Take a tip from Grandma: use the book as a booster seat. Bonus points for sewing a cover from a pillowcase or an old dress. And when the third papier mache project of the semester pops up, guess who doesn’t have to solicit every neighbor on the street for their old newspapers? YOU. Or, if you have a budding botanist on your hands, you could use the book for pressing leaves and flowers.
For the Tree-hugger
Oh, the possibilities for you, the environmentally enlightened! Use the pages for anything in your garden that you would normally use newspaper for. You can add shredded pages to your compost bin or spread them out over grass if you want to make space to enlarge your garden. You can also use the paper as a biodegradable weed-blocker: create a layer of shredded paper, and then pile on wood chips or whatever groundcover you desire.
For Everyone Else
Are you “none of the above”? Then, we have a few ideas that should appeal to just about everyone.
- Moving? Save yourself some money on bubble wrap by packaging breakables, like dishes and picture frames, in torn-out pages.
- We’ll bet you love a cozy fire in the winter. Use balled-up papers as fire-starters.
- Sending a gift across the country? Use the pages as filler for the box so that your items don’t shift and break en-route.
- Clean your windows with sheets of Yellow Pages for a streak-free finish that will make Mom proud.
- Finally, a phone book would make a great multi-use addition to an automobile emergency kit: fire-starter, bulletproof vest (along with some duct tape), umbrella/hat for a storm, stepstool. The possibilities are endless, really.
By Drew Himel